I’m
feeling extremely conflicted about this season of The Bachelor (not that I necessarily feel at ease with it in other
years). I had absolutely no feeling
whatsoever about former-soccer pro Juan Pablo Galvis being selected as the star
of the reality program. He received
relatively little screen time while on The
Bachelorette and left much earlier in the season compared to prior bachelors
pulled from the same type of pool (usually one has to make it into the final
four to earn that honor). But while I
was neither excited nor horrified at the prospect of this seemingly nice single
father appearing on the show, I was slightly bothered by the way that ABC
marketed this season – focusing almost entirely on his physical appearance and
drawing upon all the stereotypes concerning Latino men. It seemed like Juan Pablo won the gig because
he was “hot” and had a sexy accent. I
think the franchise also was proud of itself for diversifying its contestant
pool (for which it has been aptly criticized) as they were quick to point out
that it was their first Latino bachelor.
However, the Venezuelan playboy always seemed a bit “white washed” to
me.
A lot
has been made of some of the language barriers that accompanied this bachelor
selection. (We’ll touch on this again in
a moment). Juan Pablo himself often brought
up his difficulties always finding the right words to convey his thoughts. Although I suppose this could have
contributed to him coming off as not intellectually engaged with the women on
the show, I don’t think this is the case. I think the show marketed his body (continuing
its practice of being an equal opportunity offender on the front of sexual
objectification regardless of gender) because he simply doesn’t have much going
on in his head. (His dates with Sharlene, the well-traveled, sophisticated
opera singer, were excruciatingly painful for me to watch because of this). While I can’t say that the show is known for
its stimulating, intellectual conversation, the lack of substance was
particularly evident this year.
Somewhere
in the middle of this season I realized why I was perturbed with this bachelor –
I think he has helped to cement some problematic stereotypes about Latino
men. It appears he is the embodiment of
machismo. I first became unnerved by his
sexist demeanor when he “slut-shamed” one contestant after he partook in a
dirty midnight ocean swim with her. (The
lecture the following day was about how he was raising a daughter and didn’t
want to send her the wrong message or have inappropriate female role models in
her life). Besides for the fact that
placing the blame on the woman when he had equally participated was
problematic, this lecture (along with other talks where he told girls he wasn’t
going to kiss them because he was trying to be a good example for his daughter)
was very hypocritical and conflicted with his actions. He had, and continued to, made out with
multiple women (often publically in front of the other contestants). My first
thought: so much for being a good role
model. My second thought: what did he think was going to happen on this
show?
The
program itself is sexist by nature. As
is much of reality television. In Reality Bites: The Troubling Truth about
Guilty Pleasure TV, Jennifer Pozner discusses the detrimental effects of reality
programming, particularly on female viewers.
She also notes the draw of schadenfreude
and the escapist appeal, but argues that while those may get viewers to tune in
initially, that is not what holds their attention. Pozner suggests:
on
a more subconscious level, we continue to watch because these shows frame their
narratives in ways that both play to and reinforce deeply ingrained societal
biases about women and men, love and beauty, race and class, consumption and
happiness in America. (17)
One
major societal message that surfaces in reality television is associated with
the antifeminist backlash. The tactic by which this message is hammered home
most regularly is humiliation. The
strategic humiliation of female reality television characters is often “used to
offer women an ugly, unstated, and all-too-clear message: “This is where independence leads, ladies –
to failure and misery” (Pozner 53).
In
the reality television dating shows this is particularly obvious. The practice can be seen when the “cameras
zoom in on the tear-soaked face of some woman shattered by romantic
rejection. Producers bank on such scenes
to reinforce the notion that single women are whimpering spinsters who can
never be fulfilled without husbands” (Pozner 55). The strategic editing of such
shows, such as the infamous “Frankenbiting” (wherein the actual words of
onscreen persons are edited so that they come across as saying almost the
opposite of what they really said), also paints women in a negative light. Pozner notes that women get
edited
into stock reality TV characters: The
Weeper, whose self-doubt is played for laughs.
The Antagonizer, whose confidence is framed as arrogance. The Slut, whose strategic use of sex appeal
we’re meant to condemn. Through their
beauty-based bravado and anxiety, participants become vessels on whose bodies
and from whose lips these shows can reinforce antifeminist backlash values.
(72)
Knowing
all of this, I wasn’t surprised to see blatant sexism on The Bachelor. However, what
I was surprised about was that ABC allowed a contestant to call the star out on
it.
This
past week Andi Dorfman (a smart lawyer, and a candidate I had originally hoped
would “win” the season) chose to leave the show after her overnight date in the
“fantasy suite.” While I thought it was
cool that she was the second girl to choose to walk away (shattering the
unrealistic myth that 25 women can all fall in love so easily with one
network-selected beau), I was more thrilled that she was able to call him out
on his bad behavior. It was nothing
drastic, just the mundane sexist, insensitive things that countless men have
probably done on dates: he was only
interested in talking about himself, he shut down any attempt she made to talk
about serious/emotional topics, and he talked about his intimate experiences
with other women (his previous night’s “fantasy suite” date). In
regards to making little effort to truly get to know her, Andi asked: “Do you have
any idea what religion I practice? What are my political views?" As Emma Gray points out in The Huffington Post,
His response, or rather, the utter lack thereof, exposed what
anyone who has watched even a few episodes of the white wine tears-filled show
already knew. "The Bachelor" brand of romance is built on the fantasy that
big conversations about religious beliefs, socioeconomics, career aspirations
and politics -- the very things that would make or break a budding relationship
in the real world -- are unnecessary in the face of amorphous "connection."
It
was a refreshing message to hear a contestant point out that, indeed, these
types of conversations are important – not just romantic romps on a beach and
so breath taking helicopter rides.
As
happy as I was, part of the confrontation bothered me. Andi focused a lot (and I mean A LOT) on Juan
Pablo’s use of the phrase “it’s okay” to shut down her attempts to discuss
serious matters. The phrase itself was
said in regard to her choosing to leave the show as well. Andy pointed out that it was dismissive and
rude. Juan Pablo explained the verbal
tick as being due to English being his second language, and perhaps that is
partially true. Or maybe he’s just
exhibiting the aversion to emotional conversations that John Gray (author of Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus)
would claim men have. While I agreed
that it did sound dismissive and seemed to trivialize her feelings, I also
found her mockery of his speech to be uncomfortable and I worried what wider
message the show could be sending through this exchange. I felt
even more this way when I saw a tweet where she thanked fans for the support
and then jokingly reminded them that “eeees okay.” Had she simply typed “it’s okay,” I would have
smirked at her repurposing the phrase, however, her choice to mimic his accent
pushed it over the line. After all, one
set of bad behavior shouldn’t justify another, right?
I don’t
necessarily dislike this woman now but I do think it shows a different side of
her personality and it makes me wonder what else we’ll see now that (rumor has
it) she is set to be the next bachelorette.
However, it’s not really her tweet that makes me wary of her next
15-minutes of fame, it’s the fact that she’s walking away mid-murder trial from
her job to star on the reality television show.
Here’s a great message to send to young girls: finding a man is worth walking away from your
successful, professional career.
Sigh.
Great post! All of these are terrific points and articulate my feelings about the show. The only thing I liked about this season was how the bachelor did admit that falling in love on a show like this was a bit far fetched.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Charlotte. I agree. I like the fact that the show allowed the participants to critique the experience more so than they ever had before. Of course, they'll be back to selling their fantasy soon enough when the next season of the Bachelorette starts up this summer!
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